Maybe I'm Amazed

Okay, here is another attempt at writing my blog instead of posting links.
I am afraid of crossing the line of TMI (too much information) with this one. I am also embarassed to talk about this. But, I see it as information to be discussed.
Kris and I are very loving, we get along very well, laugh together and basically have a great time. But there is one problem. Since we have been married in October of 2010, we've had sex about 3-4 times. Yes, that is total.
Does it have to do with Kris being trans? I think it does. I have tried to accomidate a revised version of sex for Kris (so she feels like a woman, not a man). But, the frequency is still very low.
Don't get me wrong, I don't really crave it. I take Zoloft and one of side effects is decreased sex drive. But I do crave intimacy. I crave being wanted and feeling sexy. I think Kris is so concerned with her hang ups and not being able to have a sex life as a woman, that perhaps she sometimes forgets that there is another person involved.
Kris also does not like to be touched. I can cuddle up to her on the couch sometimes and give her a kiss, but that is at times as much as I get. When I try to hold her hand, she pulls it away. When I try to hug her, she puts to hands and my shoulders and tries to push.
I do not know how I do not feel more rejected than I do.
There is also no sign of Kris craving to be with a man. Believe me, I have looked for the signs, trying to cover my bases so there are no surprises, but she has never commented on a man's looks, I have never caught her eyeing a man, never found any Playgirl magazines stashed under her mattress. If she is attracted to men, she hides it better than a gay American man in the 1950's.
She mentions that she masterbates all the time, and that does make me feel a little rejection. I feel as if she has left it up to me to figure out what she wants and to do what she wants. I try to tell her that I need her to tell me and show me. But anyone who knows her very, very well, know that she if incredibly, INCREDIBLY stubborn! She just acts like I should know. I try, but I guess it is not good enough to involve me in her sex life.
Kris's stubborness, in all aspects of our lives, is something that I need to figure out how to put into words. I have been trying to figure it out for a while, but it is difficult. There are things like, if I decide to have a piece of her chocolate bar (or any of her food), she says that she doesn't want it anymore.
She has this incredible need to be the victor and to be right about everything. Sounds like I really am living with a woman.
I suppose I feel lucky in other areas enough for me to not feel like the is a huge void in my life with Kris.
It still must be something special, because when I listen to our song Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney, I think of her, with me in the role of Paul, and her in the role of Linda. Paul and Linda are my ultimate all-time favorite couple and I see a little bit of them in Kris and me. The way we are always together, how we are friends and buddies, and how I am amazed by her.

Maybe you're the only woman who can ever help me, baby won't you help me to understand